‘Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU’

‘It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary’ -Mandy Hale

Self care isn’t all bubble baths and shopping sprees sometimes self care is allowing yourself a lie in, skip a class or going for a long walk alone. It is absolutely necessary to take time out of our lives to reflect and breathe. To allow your body and mind to catch up with everything going on in your life and in the world. It is required that you take the time to be kind to yourself, to allow yourself to feel how you do. Self care won’t always be the same someday’s it will be exercising and eating healthy. Others it will be spending time with friends and family or taking a nap. And sometimes it’s watching an entire series on Netflix in one weekend while laying on the couch in your pajamas. Self care is doing what soothes your soul.

I would recommend visiting someone Holistic. The philosophy of Holistic is the belief that parts of something are intimately interconnected. It is characterised by the treatment of a whole person, taking into account physical, emotional, social, economic and spiritual needs, rather than just the symptoms of a disease/illness. It means thinking about the bigger picture. I think Reiki and Reflexology should be looked at as a form of self care. Reiki is a healing technique based around the principle that a therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch. This activates the natural healing process of the patients body and restores physical and emotional well being. Reflexology is a system of massage used to relieve tension and release illness, it uses reflex points in the feet which are connected to different parts of the body. This stimulates the body into healing itself by improving circulation, reducing stress and pain and restoring natural balance. Massage also reduces stress hormone levels, heart rate and blood pressure and it boosts mood and relaxation by triggering the release of hormones called Oxycontin (relieves pain) and serotonin (boosts mood). Yoga is another option to look at, It increases concentration, metabolism and memory. It calms the nervous system, improves sleep and relieves depression. A link detailing its benefits is attached below and youtube tutorials.

Benefits of Yoga

Yoga tutorials on youtube

Another form of self care is nature. There’s something liberating about the beach listening to the sound of the waves and the feeling of your feet in the sand. Take walks on the beach or in the forest or in the country side. Take the time to listen to the birds sing or the animals in the fields and watch the way the trees sway.

Sometimes fluffy pajamas and socks, cups of tea and chocolate will be just what you need. Clearing out your room to make it clutter free and turning on a lamp to get lost in a book maybe just what you need. Buy yourself new bed sheets or new pajamas. Take a long hot bath with epsom salts which helps to relieve stress, ease aching muscles and allows for better sleep.

You can also write a Journal. This can include things you are grateful for, how your mood is daily, list the tasks you need to do. You can also include a bucket list to complete when you have free time!

My point  is there is no right or wrong way to take care of yourself. Remember to pause, breathe and cry if you must but keep going. Strength comes in the moments you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway. And try to always be thankful for what you are now while fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.

REMEMBER NO ONE WILL BE MAD AT YOU FOR HOW YOU FEEL. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU WILL GET BETTER!

Numbers to contact if you need to talk:

HELP IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE IN THIS. OTHERS FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU DO. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. TALKING WONT MAKE IT GO AWAY BUT I PROMISE IT DOES MAKE IT EASIER!

I know you may feel isolated, helpless, hopeless and lonely but help is out there. The first step is accepting how you feel, if you hurt your arm or your leg you wouldn’t be afraid to tell your parents, teachers or a coach. Firstly you need to accept your feelings for what they are- feelings. You never asked to feel like this, you’re not weak for feeling this way. It is not your fault- the same way if you hurt your leg you wouldn’t feel shame or guilt. Then LET SOMEBODY IN show them the world you’ve been experiencing. Tell them how you’ve lost your drive, ambition and focus. Help them understand why you haven’t been attending training’s, even though its the one thing you love most, because the buzz is gone from it. How it doesn’t light a fire in you the same way anymore. Tell them how your heart races at the thought of failure but you’ve no urge to be productive, how you’re not bothered to get out of bed someday’s because fighting with your mind has taken all of the energy you had. Explain how you sleep all the time to numb your feelings and halt your thoughts, how you stay in your pj’s all day because its comfortable and safe and warm. Let them know how hard it is at night time when you’ve slept all day and then can’t sleep while everyone else does so you lie awake in a house full of sleeping people alone with your thoughts. Let them know how hard it is exactly and how much you’ve struggled.

OPENING UP is by far the toughest step to admit to one single other person that you are not okay will be possibly the hardest thing you’ll ever do. It is also the best thing you could ever do after that conversation you’ll never have to deal with it on your own again. After that conversation it all gets a little bit easier.

Your Parents are always there for you no matter how much you argue, disagree or how often you see them. They brought you into this world and would move mountains for you. Your coach is another option if you feel you can’t talk at home, these people put hours into training and developing you as a person and your skills you can guarantee they care for your health and well-being. Your teachers/ lecturers you will see these people multiple times per week they will have noticed a change in your engagement levels, they also care about how your doing. Your friends, this one may be tougher than the rest to confide in someone on your level. They will have noticed the change in your behaviour, how you put off going out or dressing up or are keeping in contact less. If you do not want to talk to someone you know well (and even if you do) I would also recommend going to see your Doctor. They are great listeners they know the medical side to how your feeling and can offer great advice and/or counselling options. They may also do a blood test to see if you have a chemical imbalance. Counselling is also available in most towns, colleges and schools and it is 100% confidential. FIND A PERSON YOUR COMFORTABLE TALKING TO, SOMEONE YOU TRUST AND TRY TO SAY ‘I AM NOT OKAY’

When someone opens up to you please don’t reply telling them how great their life is and why they shouldn’t feel sad or how others have it so much worse than they do. That does not help. It will actually make them feel worse. Allow them to tell you exactly how they feel. Don’t bombard them with questions because they may clam up. Please don’t ask WHY they feel the way they do. For many there isn’t a reason for how they feel or they can’t seem to figure out the root of it themselves. This can be particularly frustrating for the person experiencing depression.

If you find it hard to talk a text message to a parent/coach/friend is another option. You can just say ‘I need to talk, I don’t feel okay’. Then they will initiate the conversation. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO SHARE HOW YOUR FEELING.

REMEMBER NO ONE WILL BE MAD AT YOU FOR HOW YOU FEEL. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE LOVED AND PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU.

Contact numbers to talk:

Welcome to my first blog, I’m both very nervous and excited to get started. Mental health is such a big issue and I really hope to do the topic justice and help at least one person through my posts.

My Blog is called Lighthouse as a lighthouse symbolises the way forward and help in navigating our way through rough waters, nothing else depicts safety and security in the face of adversity and challenge quiet like a lighthouse does. Also Tom Walkers song ‘Leave a light on’ gave me the idea for the name as it shows help is there and its okay not to feel okay.

‘If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill
Guiding like a lighthouse it’s a place where you’ll be
Safe to feel our grace ’cause we’ve all made mistakes
If you’ve lost your way…
I will leave the light on (x4)
Tell me what’s been happening, what’s been on your mind
Lately you’ve been searching for a darker place
To hide, that’s alright’

‘It’s so common, it could be anyone. The trouble is, nobody wants to talk about it. And that makes everything worse’- Ruby Wax 

A quote that for me puts it all into perspective. An illness that does not discriminate- it can affect anyone of any age, gender, profession or ethnic background. It affects approximately 1 in 10 people at some stage of their lives.

In this post I hope to share with you the signs to notice if you or someone you know is suffering with poor mental health. I will mainly focus on Depression throughout my posts. Depression is a serious mental illness that affects how you feel, think and behave.  It is characterised by persistent low mood, feeling helpless or hopeless, crying, irritability, agitation, changes in sleeping/ eating patterns, social withdrawal not taking part in gatherings of friends and families, high use of alcohol or drugs, headaches, feeling anxious and losing interest in activities you usually enjoy. These signs and symptoms will be present for more than two weeks, It is important to note that we all experience some of these symptoms now and again it does not mean you are depressed. Aware is an Irish support group that offers information, support and guidance on all Mental Health issues link attached below for more information.

Aware Mental Health Organisation

Aware-information on depression

You will first notice the more apparent changes in yourself or others for example- someone who usually trains a lot suddenly looses interest. They turn away from their favourite hobbies and past times they were once passionate about because they don’t feel the same anymore and in turn don’t feel the same about their passions. This particularly is very confusing and isolating- the activities we once found comfort in, a thrill or an escape now become a stranger to us and more of a chore to take part in. Maybe rapid weight loss or gain- comfort eating usually on carbohydrates (they help with serotonin feel good hormone) or chocolate or perhaps not eating at all with no desire for food (There’s a link below for mood boosting foods). It could be sleeping excessively to escape the numbness, guilt and sadness and/or inability to sleep when you need to- night time. Commonly occurring is an irritability and withdrawal from activities or events. It may be as simple as not wanting to go see your friends anymore or not attending nights out or being on the verge of tears most of the time.

Foods that help boost serotonin and help you feel good

It is very important that if you or someone you know is showing various symptoms of depression to seek help. Your parents, friends, teachers, lecturers, GP or a coach they all care about you, they want to help and will have already noticed some changes in you. ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY, AND ITS CERTAINLY OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP. It will be the most difficult thing you will ever have to do but the sense of relief that comes afterwards is overwhelming. Getting those words out when someone asks if your okay, ‘no i’m actually not’ will start the conversation and allow you to share your feelings.

Remember NO ONE WILL BE MAD at you for how you feel, YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN, YOU ARE LOVED and YOU WILL GET BETTER!

Below are a list of numbers you can call to talk

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton.